What do you do if you don’t know who you are? If you have no idea about what you like, what you are passionate about, what you want from life?
If you feel you are stuck doing something boring while everyone else is realizing their full potential? Whenever you look at someone’s pictures (be they work related or otherwise), you think oh I should have been doing this.. I would have been so happy doing that! But what if you feel like that about everything except stuff that you actually get to do..
You claim you want to have fun.. that you are stuck in a boring life.. And yet you make excuses to skip some of those things when you actually have a chance to do some fun stuff!
Why are you scared of going out with a group of people, why do you always chicken out in the end? Why do you always stay quiet in big groups? You were a people’s person in college.. you were known as the cute bubbly girl.. what happened to you? Why do you think so much before opening your mouth? Nobody is sitting there to judge you, no one cares! Why are you scared to accept yourself for who you are? Why are you always trying to be like someone else?
What if, in all these years of trying to emulate other peoples’ good qualities, you have forgotten who you are? You just try to do things that you think will ‘impress’ someone? What happened to you? Do you even remember what you like to do for fun? What excites you? What brings a real smile to your face?
Get a grip on yourself girl, for this is not gonna work for long.. Focus on yourself, your happiness, love yourself for who you are… Be thankful for all the good things in you life, for all the opportunities, for the nice people around you, for a loving family and friends.. Please don’t throw away life like this.. Snap out of the bottomless pit you are gradually pushing yourself into..
Can’t help but include the beautiful song I am listening to:
P.S. Thank you god for beautiful music, I can’t imagine life without these soul soothing songs! 🙂
Sunshine and Rainbows! 
one should learn to love ONESELF first , take care of ONESELF first ..
and as you said be yourself ..
all the best in that .. and the song is great thanks for sharing
Thanks Bikram for reading my rants all the time, and for being so encouraging! 🙂 I hope to get out of this mess soon!
Reading your post was like Deja Vu for me – I could have written this myself less than a year ago.
Existential angst is good, you’re on your way to finding out who you are 🙂
I was the person who went to parties she was invited to, but sat quietly in a corner the whole time, and felt drained afterward to boot! All my friends love pubbing and partying, and I’d go out often with them too, but the fun only tired me out. Sound familiar?
Have you ever considered that you were a “people person” in college, because of peer pressure, and are only now finding the real you? Or that maybe you’ve changed? This test really helped me see myself in an objective light:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
I recently found out I was an INFP, and suddenly everything just clicked into place. Well not really, but at least 3 pieces of the jigsaw puzzle fitted into the big picture 😀
It’s an exciting journey, finding out who you are, and what you enjoy. Good luck, and have fun!
PS: I love that song, and listen to it on repeat whenever I’m feeling “introspective” on long walks. 🙂
Thanks for your comment! 🙂
Yeah, I hope I get there some day! Currently, I’m just restless all the time.. I may be on the journey to figure out who I am, but it hasn’t been fun so far.. Part of the reason could be that I’ve had a lot of work pressure, and haven’t really made much effort to explore different things..
Thanks for the link, will try the test soon!
P.S. the male version of the song is really nice as well..