Rhea didn’t feel like getting out of bed. She looked at the time and realized that she was late, again. She grabbed her phone to silence the alarm, glanced at her Whatsapp messages, and didn’t bother to read the usual forwards. Not really expecting anything important, Rhea checked her email and was excited to see Neal’s email – not just one but two. It brought a smile to her face and gave her the energy to sail through the day. As Rhea was in and out of meetings all day, she kept thinking about Neal’s emails and couldn’t wait to find the time to write to him. She found herself remembering You’ve Got Mail and smiling to herself during the day!
When Rhea woke up in the middle of the night, she checked her phone for any emails from Neal. Looking at her empty inbox, she wondered if he had disappeared again. She had responded to his email three days ago, the same day that he had written to her. Since then, she had called him a couple of times but he didn’t answer the phone.
As Rhea lay in bed on the cold Sunday morning, she craved to talk to Neal. It had been a week since his last emails. More than him, Rhea was frustrated with herself. She wondered why she let herself get excited again – isn’t this classic Neal behavior?
In his email a week ago, Neal didn’t really say anything about the story she had shared with him, he only responded to one of the questions she had asked him. Rhea wondered if he even read what she sent him. In his second email, Neal had asked for her opinion on a video he shared. Unlike him, Rhea had written a long and emotional response sharing her thoughts. As she over-analyzed the email, seeds of doubt began creeping into her head. Was Neal put off by her opinions? Did her ideas sound naive or immature? Rhea reminded herself that the main reason she felt attracted to Neal was that he respected her value system and thought process. She was not going to start questioning herself because a guy wasn’t responding to her emails. Not again.
As Rhea longed for Neal, tears rolled down from the side of her eyes onto the pillow. She wondered how she ended up in the same situation every few years, or even months. At the slightest possibility of love on the horizon, her heart began doing somersaults, like an over-enthusiastic kid not willing to accept failure in gymnastics class. Rhea found herself speculating if her heart is resilient or foolish or both? While she inherently believed in love and didn’t want to give up on meaningful connections, she was tired of picking up the pieces of her broken heart. Rhea mused, is the heart’s resilience necessarily a good thing?
You can read more Rhea and Neal stories here.
Song on my mind