I watched this interview with Dev Anand and really enjoyed it. Even if you don’t know Indian cinema, it’s a very interesting conversation about life. Some things that he said spoke to me and here are my reflections!
He says that marriage is a personal affair and they got married secretly. I think I agree with the idea, I don’t see the need to organize a bollywoodesque show to get married. Since a few years, I’ve thought that I would prefer a quiet court marriage followed by a small reception with close friends and family.
When he talks about his marriage, it was interesting that they don’t have many shared activities and they are both content with the marriage. My first thought was that this is probably a public view of one side of the story, I wonder if this is the reality of their marriage. Maybe it’s true, but you never know. If it is true, I think it depends on the couple – what each partner is looking for in a marriage – if totally independent lives work for both of them, great! In any case, marriage shouldn’t be about losing yourself, it should be about sharing and growing together as well as individually…
Something that I can’t relate to is sorrows being short-lived. Maybe that’s how some people function or deal with life. Although, I do wonder if someone actually gets over things immediately, or are they just trying to distract themselves or running away from their feelings or sadness. If that is the case, is that a good idea? Isn’t it important to accept and deal with heartbreak and emotions, rather than run away from them?
He also talks about being a daredevil, about taking chances and accepting defeat (if that’s the outcome) and learning from it. A month ago or so, I read this article that said that at some point, you need to figure out what pain are you willing to bear to be successful at something. Everyone has dreams but what are the costs that you’re willing to pay to achieve those dreams. Life is not going to work out all the time. However, having said that, I think it takes a lot of courage to take big risks in life and not everyone has that courage. I think that courage is dependent on a combination of factors – some that are a part of your inherent nature and some from your upbringing. This article has been on my mind since a couple of days. I could relate to always being scared and careful and not having the courage or confidence to take risks. After a few conversations with friends, we also realized that sometimes, women are more risk-averse than men – it’s hard to say if it’s biological or social conditioning. As I have mentioned earlier, I have been thinking of making some life changes, one of them is taking a break for 4-6 months before I start working again. The uncertainty of it freaks me out because I’ve never done anything like this in life before. However, at the same time, I find myself wondering – if not now, then when? And why not? At some point, I need to learn to face my fears. I imagine the worst case scenario that it will be horrible but it’s only a few months and I’ll know that I tried and it doesn’t work for me. Or maybe it won’t be totally horrible, there will be some good moments, and some things I will learn about life. At the end of the day, it’s still very scary, and I’m learning to accept the fact that that’s alright, big changes are scary and that shouldn’t stop me from doing what I really want.
He talks about death, something that I have been thinking about for the last few weeks. I don’t fear my death anymore and I feel similarly as him. Except that he was 80 at the time of the interview, and I am 29. Death of a loved one is hard and painful for the ones who are left behind. However, for the person who dies, you’re dead, that’s it… Although, I think it’s probably easy to have this opinion when thinking about death philosophically, that doesn’t guarantee that that’s how I would feel if death is staring me in the face – you know, right before an accident or if I have a terminal disease… Especially considering that I am young and also feel that time is running out. I want to do some much in my life, it’s kind of contradictory to my opinion about death. Oh well!
He talks about his father never expressing pride for his success and achievement until his final years. I don’t agree with this attitude of fathers or parents or other important people in life not showing their appreciation. In my opinion, everyone is working hard and fighting many battles and genuine appreciation for their efforts and actions can go a long way to make their life easier and happier. I make it a point to implement this in my life.
So did you watch the interview? What are your thought about the interview or anything I said?
P.S. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten around to responding to comments, I’ll try and get to them this weekend!
P.S. 2 This is my 200th post, yay!