One of my favorite songs from the movie Before Sunset (2004).. I loved watching this movie – the depth of their relationship even though they met only for a day is intriguing..
So this movie (Before Sunset) is basically a sequel to Before Sunrise (1995).. In the first movie, Jesse and Celine meet on a Euro-rail train, get talking, and connect so well that they spend the whole day together in Vienna.. The movie is about their 24 hours together – how they effortlessly talk about everything, the way they connect and enjoy each others company.. They leave the next morning and decide not to exchange address or numbers, just promising to meet in Vienna after 6 months.. The movie just ends like that.. I had a lot of questions – will they forget each other, will they ever meet again? What will happen when they do?
And then the sequel is Before Sunset – 9 years later, Jesse writes a book about the one day they spend together and goes on a book tour to Europe… His last stop is in Paris and he encounters Celine there.. They talk about that day 9 years ago, what happened when they planned to meet.. about their current lives and relationships.. They again spend a lot of time together and enjoy each other’s company… And again, the movie ends with many unanswered questions.. What happens – do they get together again? Does he leave for the US?
I feel that Jesse and Celine share an amazing connection in the movie, and that you don’t meet people easily who you can connect so well with.. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone I can connect so well with. At some point in time, I thought I had but I think I was wrong.. But then I also think that their connection looks so refreshing and strong because they are together only for a day.. It doesn’t involve any expectations, any emotional baggage.. Life is not going on and bugging you.. What would happen when they have a real relationship – if and when they live together? Would their connection still be the same? Or would it just fade with time like most relationships.. Would unfulfilled expectations, stress from work, monotony of daily life kill this chemistry?
I have read this quote (or its variants) often – ‘You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.’ I agree with this to some extent, but what about compatibility? And how do you really know that he/she is the right one? And how much should one compromise in trying to see an ‘imperfect person perfectly’? So tell me what do you think? If you’ve met your soulmate (if they exist at all), how did you decide? And do you have moments where you feel you made a mistake..?
I really need to understand this stuff.. I have been in a relationship for almost 4.5 years and now it’s falling apart.. Currently, we just disagree on everything and prefer to spend time alone.. Both of us are not willing to compromise much or change things? And we’ve just been hanging in the middle of nowhere for almost a year now.. We don’t know where this relationship is going..? Some days, I feel that we are just very different people and can never be happy together.. Other days, I feel that we’ve been together for so long – there must have been something that kept us together… I am a romantic person and I really want to be in a happy relationship.. I value companionship, love, care, and respect a lot.. I don’t want to get married and then realize oh shit, he’s not the guy I was looking for!
I always have a hard time deciding about minor things and am a very indecisive person.. And this is such a huge decision that I keep going back and forth.. I wish there was a genie who would just tell me if this relationship will work or not, and I could just accept it and move either way.. I am tired of hanging in the middle…
P.S. I am sorry for not writing often, and not replying to comments.. just trying to solve some of the things on my mind.. and working a lot to avoid thinking about the things I just mentioned.. Today, I was listening to this song, and decided to post it on the blog – and that developed into a post.. and I’m glad that it did!
P.S. 2 And thank you for reading my blog, it feels good to see some of you just come by and read stuff that I write.. I read all the blogs regularly but mostly don’t comment these days!
P.S. 3 What would happen to the world if there was no music!